Activism

In the wake of Proposition 8 I have found that a lot more lesbians are becoming politically active. Many lesbians I know were members of the HRC before Prop 8, but now I think that more lesbians, comfortable in their domesticity, are becoming more aware of the need to become politically active. I recently watched an episode of the L word, in which Shane is doing the hair for a bride and her bridesmaids. She is asked if she will ever get married, and one of the girls replies, “gay people can’t get married, idiot.” And the other one says, “well I know but they can pretend!” It is funny because it is true. Many lesbians have “commitment ceremonies” (maybe this can be another entry) and while I know that they are the best we can do at this time, I find them a little lacking. I want a marriage recognized under the law. So I think that lesbians are, and will continue to become more politically active now that a law has been passed to actually take away rights. As comfortable as you are in your domesticity, it would be comforting to know that if I were to die tomorrow, my girlfriend who I would call my wife if allowed under the law, was allowed to make decisions on my behalf. And if I had any assets to my name besides a car payment and school loans, that she would be legally bound to receive them. So anyway, not to digress onto a diatribe about gay marriage…activism. Get more active. I see more people doing it, and we have found that while we have nothing to lose, we have everything to gain.

Chick Singers

Lesbians love chick singers. Whether its the Indigo Girls, Tegan and Sara, Joan Jett, KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge, or Ani DiFranco, you can bet that in the audience of a live show there will be hoards of lesbians. And for good reason. Who doesn’t love a hot chick on stage, pounding on her guitar strings and screaming her heart into the mike? There are a lot of up and coming chick singers. Brandi Carlile (hott and amazing)…Ingrid Michaelson…A Fine Frenzy…Tristan Prettyman…just to name a few.

Men’s Clothing

Lesbians love men’s clothing. The unfortunate lesbian of small proportions is at times forced to shop in the boy’s section. There are benefits to this. One example: A boy’s sized jacket made from the same material as the men’s, and only slightly smaller, is often much, much cheaper. There are down sides though for the lesbian little boy’s section shopper. The biggest down side I’d like to point out is that the bodies of pre-pubescent boys are of strange proportions. The torso grows before the arms and legs do, so to make sure the clothes fit, the arms are sewn shorter. So if you try on a jacket or a button up in say a boys size large, it may fit you in the body, but the arms will land just around the top of your wrists or even the middle of your forearms. Now, if only someone would just open a store or come up with a clothing line geared toward the smaller proportioned men’s clothing wearing lesbian, that fits with a budget accommodating that of the Gap sale’s rack.

Grills

Lesbians love grills. Big giant smokin’ hot grills. Grills are good for barbeques which lesbians also like. These gatherings give lesbians a chance to get together and drink cheap beer, eat marinated meat or tofu, smoke cigerettes, and check each other out in the great outdoors. Condiments, bud light, lawn chairs, and a grill. That smells like summer to me.

Hardware Stores

Lesbians love hardware stores. Home Depot, Lowes, Ace Hardware, your local hardware store…you’ll likely find a lesbian with a lot of home improving to do. You might find her staring longingly at the cordless drill, coveting that new version of the DeWalt circular saw, or checking out lawn mowers, drill bits, chain saws…

Being Mean to other Lesbians

Years ago I was at a bar and I was talking to a friend of a friend. This was a girl that I had met in another state, and it was really, REALLY weird to see her at this random bar. We were talking about what she was doing, and why the hell she was here. Turns out she was waiting for a flight out and was just passing through. Then, this angry lesbian comes over to me and accuses me of flirting with her. First of all, she had introduced me to her WIFE already. Second of all, this girl was an old acquaintance, and I have every right to catch up with her. Meanwhile, this angry lesbian literally wanted to fight me outside. One too many yeager bombers there, angry lesbian.

Update to real time. I started this blog to make myself, my girlfriend, and possibly a few friends laugh. I’ve been getting comments from someone saying that I “copied” her friend’s blog. If I copied anyone, it was the dude who is doing Stuff White People Like. I am clearly not making any money from this blog, because there are no advertisements. And I also recognize that my blog sucks. I’m not trying to compete with anyone or steal anyone’s ideas. I also recognize that clearly I am not original. There are about a hundred other blogs out there that have stemmed from Stuff White People Like. See Stuff White People Like Phenomenon Now to quote Jewel: “I’m sensitive, and I’d like to stay that way.” If I keep getting bugged about this blog and how it is unoriginal, I’ll delete it, and then all two people that read it will be disappointed and I’ll be bored.

Dressing Alike

So I went to a baseball game today, and I saw a couple of lesbians dressed exactly alike. Everything from the hair cut Tom Cruise has in Rain Man down to the matching white tennis shoes. In between were matching jackets and matching tapered Levi’s. I guess after years together wardrobes meld. In the summer time I imagine these particular lesbians will be wearing matching khaki shorts with a tucked in T-Shirt with a logo from one of their summer vacations…(Sedona is popular) and matching Velcro sporty sandals, possibly with socks. Awesome.

Hats

Lesbians love hats.* Trucker hats, short brimmed hats, beanies, newsboy hats…

*We also love Shane. We’ll save that for another post.

Straight Girls

Hott.*

*These girls are not necessarily straight. But it was an excuse to include this hott picture.

Rugby

Some lesbians really get into Rugby. They behave in a tribal-like manner, holding fund raisers that include Jello wrestling and wet t-shirt contests. They have parties involving lots, lots, and lots of beer. They pound each other into the ground, break bones, sprain ankles, and tear ligaments. A room full of lesbian Rugby players is a room full of some tough broads. Check out the girl in the picture. Don’t fuck with her. She’ll mess you up and then shot gun a beer like nobody’s business.