Activism

In the wake of Proposition 8 I have found that a lot more lesbians are becoming politically active. Many lesbians I know were members of the HRC before Prop 8, but now I think that more lesbians, comfortable in their domesticity, are becoming more aware of the need to become politically active. I recently watched an episode of the L word, in which Shane is doing the hair for a bride and her bridesmaids. She is asked if she will ever get married, and one of the girls replies, “gay people can’t get married, idiot.” And the other one says, “well I know but they can pretend!” It is funny because it is true. Many lesbians have “commitment ceremonies” (maybe this can be another entry) and while I know that they are the best we can do at this time, I find them a little lacking. I want a marriage recognized under the law. So I think that lesbians are, and will continue to become more politically active now that a law has been passed to actually take away rights. As comfortable as you are in your domesticity, it would be comforting to know that if I were to die tomorrow, my girlfriend who I would call my wife if allowed under the law, was allowed to make decisions on my behalf. And if I had any assets to my name besides a car payment and school loans, that she would be legally bound to receive them. So anyway, not to digress onto a diatribe about gay marriage…activism. Get more active. I see more people doing it, and we have found that while we have nothing to lose, we have everything to gain.

Chick Singers

Lesbians love chick singers. Whether its the Indigo Girls, Tegan and Sara, Joan Jett, KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge, or Ani DiFranco, you can bet that in the audience of a live show there will be hoards of lesbians. And for good reason. Who doesn’t love a hot chick on stage, pounding on her guitar strings and screaming her heart into the mike? There are a lot of up and coming chick singers. Brandi Carlile (hott and amazing)…Ingrid Michaelson…A Fine Frenzy…Tristan Prettyman…just to name a few.

Grills

Lesbians love grills. Big giant smokin’ hot grills. Grills are good for barbeques which lesbians also like. These gatherings give lesbians a chance to get together and drink cheap beer, eat marinated meat or tofu, smoke cigerettes, and check each other out in the great outdoors. Condiments, bud light, lawn chairs, and a grill. That smells like summer to me.

Hardware Stores

Lesbians love hardware stores. Home Depot, Lowes, Ace Hardware, your local hardware store…you’ll likely find a lesbian with a lot of home improving to do. You might find her staring longingly at the cordless drill, coveting that new version of the DeWalt circular saw, or checking out lawn mowers, drill bits, chain saws…

Being Mean to other Lesbians

Years ago I was at a bar and I was talking to a friend of a friend. This was a girl that I had met in another state, and it was really, REALLY weird to see her at this random bar. We were talking about what she was doing, and why the hell she was here. Turns out she was waiting for a flight out and was just passing through. Then, this angry lesbian comes over to me and accuses me of flirting with her. First of all, she had introduced me to her WIFE already. Second of all, this girl was an old acquaintance, and I have every right to catch up with her. Meanwhile, this angry lesbian literally wanted to fight me outside. One too many yeager bombers there, angry lesbian.

Update to real time. I started this blog to make myself, my girlfriend, and possibly a few friends laugh. I’ve been getting comments from someone saying that I “copied” her friend’s blog. If I copied anyone, it was the dude who is doing Stuff White People Like. I am clearly not making any money from this blog, because there are no advertisements. And I also recognize that my blog sucks. I’m not trying to compete with anyone or steal anyone’s ideas. I also recognize that clearly I am not original. There are about a hundred other blogs out there that have stemmed from Stuff White People Like. See Stuff White People Like Phenomenon Now to quote Jewel: “I’m sensitive, and I’d like to stay that way.” If I keep getting bugged about this blog and how it is unoriginal, I’ll delete it, and then all two people that read it will be disappointed and I’ll be bored.

Straight Girls

Hott.*

*These girls are not necessarily straight. But it was an excuse to include this hott picture.

Short Hair Cuts

Lesbians like short hair cuts. This is not to say that all lesbians have short hair cuts. But it is a fair statement to say, “a lot of lesbians have short hair.” In fact, if a straight woman has a short do, she is often mistaken for a lesbian. I had an overbearing loud bossy boss who I was SURE was a lesbian on account of her short hair cut. Turned out she has a husband and two kids. I’m certain she had sexual encounters with women in college though…

The point is, lesbians love short hair cuts. Lately the style is kind of the teen age boy comb over look. Some go for the all out faux-hawk, which is making its way out. Some of the old lesbians still maintain their mullets, in spite of all the anti-mullet sentiments in the 21st century.

In the picture, Kim from ANTM fame sports a faux-hawk sweep over combo.

Hibernating

Lesbians hibernate. Ever noticed how there are a) way more gay bars than lesbian bars, and b) mostly single girls in the lesbian bars that do exist? Lesbians go out to find a girl, and when they find one, they tend to disappear. Especially during the winter months. Unless you live in a warmer climate, of course, in which case there will be very few lesbian bars anyway. There will probably be a lot of hibernating older lesbians though. And year-round softball for that matter.

Cohabitating

Everyone knows the joke, “What does a lesbian bring on a second date…a U-Haul.” Lesbians love to cohabitate. There are many reasons for this. Women get emotionally attached incredibly fast. Many lesbians live together and many lesbians that live together get either a dog or a cat or two in lieu of children. It is harder for lesbians to accidentally get pregnant than it is for heterosexual couples, so they often fulfill their womanly impulse to care for something by a) cohabitating and b) having an animal. Women are also very into commitment. Nothing says “i love you” like sharing a bathroom.

Since marriage is not legal, some lesbians might want to complicate their relationship by formalizing things with paperwork and lawyers. Gay Law offers advice on how cohabitators can make their relationship more closely resemble their married heterosexual counterparts, including protection for if/when the relationship should dissolve.